Step Up

Post Thanksgiving.

2008-11-29T06:55:00.003-05:00

Easily the most difficult time of the year for me is holidays. You see, I still yearn for the past but have been doing better each year. I got several offers from friends to come over but to be honest I didn't think I would be very good company so I just hung around at home. It started out tough but got better as the day went on for sure. The highlight for me was getting a call from my son in Kuwait. Wow, that was great and to be honest made my day. Once I got that call I could really begin to count my blessings. My buddy Derek tried to get me to go with him for dinner at a friends but instead I chose to stay home. That crazy guy is always trying to look out for me. Then Sean took the time out from his family to call me and that too was an awesome blessing. Jerry even gave me a buzz to invite me as well. Did I mention the blessing and thanks from so many people. Also, Jeremy called as well and gave his best on this day. What a blessing he has been to me this year.
Holiday's are a great time for families. My prayer was that people not get caught up in the routine of it all but the reality that being with family is so very precious. I was truly giving thanks to God for all he has done for me this year even though at times it was so difficult. I would have NOT been able to get through it all without the friends God had put in my life. I chose to be alone this past holiday and just reflect and pray on all that he has given me.
May all your holidays and family gatherings be memorable ones and may you fill your families hearts with the love and joy each of you have given me. Love you all and God bless.

4 am...in the morning

2008-10-17T04:01:00.002-04:00

Kingdom work is what my good friend Roy calls it. I have to ask what kind of Kingdom work are you doing lately. It is now 4am in the morning and for me I have been up for 2 hours. Just wide awake and wondering about my future and what God has in store for me today. Then it hit me....what do I have in store for his kingdom. Sometimes I think that as Christian we wait on God to much.
I know for me I am someone who needs to be fine tuned by God some...ok, a lot. I often talk to my buddy Mr. H. about the Kingdom and what we can do for it someday, but what about today. I want today to be the best day but in order to do that I have to fight off all the distractions and for me it is time management. I am horrible about managing my time for his Kingdom. Last night I had to call a friend of mine and tell him because of my pathetic time management I had to drop his study. Someone else could have taken my place, but instead I did not think things out in the beginning or I would have realized my plate was already full of commitments. Ok, now you know why I have been up 2 hours. Whenever I let the Kingdom down I feel so bad, but more importantly will I learn something from it. I pray I do and am tired of this time management issue I have. I guess what I am trying to get at is that in order to advance his Kingdom we sometime have to look no further then ourselves. Tough one sometimes, but has to be done.

Good way to ruin a game.....thanks.

2008-08-20T15:57:00.008-04:00

I know for many of you life is tough right now. Maybe your marriage is falling apart. Does the wife seem like she is convinced you can't do anything right these days. Oh yeah, and you single guys, ever just think that your never going to find that someone special. How about the stress of the economy and just trying to hang on to your job. What about the depression and or anger that seems to be building up day after day.

Honestly, you deserve some relief. Go ahead, next time when you turn on that computer just let that mouse and keyboard become your best friend. Your a pretty smart fellow, you can erase any trail when your done. Don't you just want to have that physical release you desire just one more time. What's wrong with a little fun. You use to enjoy the porn so much, so go ahead. Who has to know anything about it but you. It's not like your cheating on your wife, after all you can always lie your way out of it. Their will be plenty of things to blame it on if you get caught but honestly I doubt you will. Trust me. It's not like your spending any money on it or taking time away from the family if you do it at the office, late at night, or when your home alone.

What about you single guys, surely it's ok for you. After all married men have a way to calm those desires but you don't. You know all your buddies do it so why not be just like them. You might as well go for it now because once you married that desire for porn will go away. Also, it's not like your going to get some disease from a computer or take a chance on getting someone pregnant. So I say go for it. Your not addicted to porn like some of your friends, it's not like your going to do it all the time. You will know if your taking to many chances and will be able to stop when you want. It's the addicts that can't and surely your no addict.

However, here are the guys I really want to talk to now, you so called Christian guys. All your friends and family see how awesome you are and how much you love all your brothers and serve your church. Now, I know some of you have confessed that you had a problem in this area and have even claimed victory. We both knew it wouldn't last long and your back at it just like you never stopped. Now that your back at it stronger then ever before you surely won't say anything, after all you do have a reputation to uphold. I think we both know what would happen if the truth got out now. It would be worse then before. So don't show your cards or you will ruin our little game. So at any cost and I mean any cost keep this between me and you.

Keep up the good work and welcome back,

Satan

I just recently met with a dear friend and someone I admire and respect a great deal. He just shared with me the struggles he is having and wants some help.I could not help but to smile as I now he had just shown me his hand and exposed the enemy. I am so proud of him and admire his courage.

We are starting the Valiant Man series on September 8th at Grace Family Church in Tampa that deals with the issue of moral integrity. Please feel free to contact me at cybesd@gmail.com.

God Bless, David

I just heard that terrible noise again!

2008-08-19T15:50:00.007-04:00

April 5th 2003. Easily the saddest day of my life to date. That is the day the Judge in Dade City, Florida said I had to be out of my house. 8530 Ehren Cutoff, Land O' Lakes, Florida. I have not been down that road since. While I have been able to move on with so much of my life, that still haunts me today. Now when I hear someone even hint or suggest that Divorce is an option I cringe. If I have one heard one excuse I have heard a million.

"It's best for all."
"The kids will be fine."
"I can't take it anymore."
"It is her fault."
"I can't trust him any more."
"He/she hurt me so bad this time."
"I cannot take it any more."

Reality:
Your kids have just lost their most precious learning tool in life. Mom and Dad.

Weddings, birthdays,and Holidays will now take on a very uncomfortable feeling.

You just taught them that failure is an option in marriage.

Their is no aspect of Divorce that 50-50 is a reality.

You cannot make up for the time you lose with them.

The anouncement of good new or bad news like a wedding, death, or pregnancy will now have to be deliverd seperately to those they love.

They will find it tough to buy the appropriate greeting card for many occasions.

Sometimes you will only be able to love them from a distance.

And for me I hate the noise of the AC or the Fridge compressor kicking on. Oh how I yearn for the silence to go away sometimes.

A room full.......

2008-07-21T16:32:00.004-04:00

Wow, what an evening...but first we must back track some. Javy and Matt had both invited me to an all night prayer vigil this past weekend. Matt, as we were having dinner friday night said it would be cool if some "men" could come to their prayer vigil at church Saturday night. My response was a swift "no", of course knowing all along that I would not miss it.
Saturday night after church I was telling Derek about my intentions and that I wanted to suprise the young men and come back at 2am. My plan was to stay an hour or so and just support and pray with these mighty men of God. The more he seemed to think about it the more he liked the idea and told me he was in for sure. Then, as I drove home to get some rest I called Travis (fellow warrior) and he agreed to come too.
We walked through the door right at 2am to their suprise.
Music blaring and enough junk food to feed an army we watched as Matt led these awesome young men in prayer and praise. One young man (Jeff) was attending his first Matt over nighter. Matt suggested we pray for him and Ivory busted off a prayer that still rings in my ear. WOW! What a night it was turning out to be. Druing one of our lights out prayer sessions where these young men just roam around the room in silent and vocal prayer was a young man calling for Satin to leave him alone. He was doing battle with the prince of darkness just a few feet away from me and doing it in such a way that I was brought to tears in the dark. Meanwhile, accross the room you could see hands in the air and hear shouts of joy as the music cried out the Lords word. A call of prayer for the city of Tampa was heard and still another for the protection of the all the young women. One after another the prayers were lifted up.
While on the way to the church that evening the enemy was trying to tell me that at age 50 your not going to fit in or be welcomed. You don't belong with these men and you sure don't need to be up when you could be sleeping. What the enemy didn't count on was that my Jesus was going to be there and that true prayer warriors were standing as one and doing what all men of God should do and that is to step out and step up for God.
We left at 7am spirit driven, it seemed as though we had just arrived.

Lost in Vegas

2008-05-06T08:51:00.002-04:00

Here in Vegas working pretty hard. Last night I got a chance on my own to walk the hotel. Everything here cost something. Even the gym is provided at $20.00 a day if you like to partake. I just walked around observing people and seeing them just seemingly sit in a trance of sorts at the slot machines. One rarely could see anyone with a smile and all of them seemed so involved in what they were doing they did not pay attention to anything around them. Over closer to the gambeling tables a little more action and smiles. The man dealing the cars kept encouraging the people to play and spend there money. I think my friend Brian would have passed out right there between the black jack table and roulette wheel. It was all so sad to me. I kept wondering if I was the only Christian in the place. Today I will continue to see what God has in store for me today. I am sure it is something good.

Missing my friends,
DG

Weed eater's are awesome

2008-05-05T09:42:00.002-04:00

I was with a friend of mine last night and he reminded me of one of the things the enemy does best. STILL our JOY. The very joy the Lord speaks about and promises us. It almost happened yesterday. So while I am sitting here flying to of all places sin city as they call it a.k.a. Las Vegas I have decided to write this weak about the Joy of the Lord and all the many ways he provides it every day.

Date Line:
May 3rd Saturday, 10:45 on board Air Tran

I woke up about 5am to meet my friend Derek to head out to of all things a community yard sale. He had made a list of things and so did I. First of all we went to a ladies house that was kind enough to let Derek know of the event and she even provided us a way in early. It was a beautiful morning to boot. The adventure started kind of slow and I was wondering if we were going to find anything on our list. He started out by making his first purchase of vintage movies. Then we sort of hit a dry spell. However, that was soon to end and with all do respect to Mel Fisher he it the jackpot. I saw the look in his eye as he firmly planted himself in someone’s garage. Sander, circular saw, tool box, jig saw and assorted other items were being stock piled on the driveway. I added a weed eater and new hose to his pile and before you could say "Scooby Doo where are you" the truck was being loaded. Nice purchase and a blessing to my friend who saved a great deal of money. His FPU group would be proud.

Then the call from David (A friend of Derek's who wanted to do some work in return for some money to help pay his way to a missions trip in Africa) who was ready to go to Derek’s house to mow his yard. But first we stopped by Brian’s house; he had called and blessed me with a book from Dave Ramsey. Wow, I was so touched by his kindness and caring spirit. Derek dropped me off at my car and he went on to pick up David and I met Derek and David, his Dad David, and of course me (David) at Derek’s house. Sorry I couldn’t resist. David’s Dad helped Derek get his lawn mower going while David Jr was beginning to push mow Derek’s lawn and I somehow managed to get the weed eater fired up. So with the help of an extension cord, don’t ask, from the house and the Ole mobile the mower started. David Jr was able to get Derek’s lawn done plus the neighbors while Derek had time to get the things done he wasn’t able to get to in the past. Blessings all over the place.

Also, during all of this our friend Aaron called to tell me about his bible study group he had done with some of the Tampa Yankees he coaches. He was very excited about it and was telling me how he had shared a Nooma that Friday night and how even more players then normal joined his group. Aaron told me that Saturday he had been invited to speak to the University of Tampa baseball team. What a privilege it is to see how God is working in Aaron’s life, and all of my friends. Later that evening a few of us headed out to see the Tampa Yankees win another game.

I went home to finish getting some things done at the house and Derek had called me to see if I wanted to grab a bite prior to the game but I had to decline so Derek and Dick went instead. Dick is another awesome man that God put in my path early on during this awesome walk with Christ. His mentorship was so key to me in my beginning walk with the Lord.

Since Aaron had been kind enough again to get us tickets for the game I called Will and invited him and his wife along for the game. It seems like we never get a chance to spend enough time with Will which is why it is such a blessing to whenever we can.

It had been a great day. All the blessing of the day as earlier mentioned had added up to such an awesome day. I was driving Derek back to his truck and I told him I almost didn’t come because of some phone calls I had received that were disturbing. Even as I was sharing with him some things that were said I could feel the JOY of the day just slipping away. I had just had an awesome day and now the enemy was primed and ready. I pulled up to his truck and after describing the phone call a little deeper, he said LET’S PRAY. He just stopped and began praying and casting out the enemy right then and there. He also included himself in the prayer which spoke to me big time. This awesome man of God I call my friend was all over the enemy. I began to feel the joy of the day return as he spoke boldly against the enemy and just praised the Lord for all things. I felt as if the car had been surrounded by Angels. It was a moment in my walk I will never forget.

The enemy comes to destroy and still our joy. If he was bold enough to tempt Jesus then I assure you none of us will escape his temptations. He can lure us but we don’t have to follow, he can provide the bait but we don’t have to take it, he can set the traps ahead but we can turn and go the other way. It can happen fast and what my friend did is what we all should do, STOP AND PRAY. Derek pointed out what a blessing the weed eater was for him. I just want to remind him what a blessing he is to me and all that the Lord did in my life this past Saturday.

Tomorrow….Day one in Vegas

.

Heart..just from the heart.

2008-04-22T14:56:00.005-04:00

Dear Son,

I love you and miss you so much. Not a day goes by I don't think of you. Oh how I miss you so. You will soon be 21 and I am proud to call you my son. Please don't forget how much I love you.

Dad

Just read the names.

2008-04-10T15:39:00.004-04:00

You know who they are. Those people, yeah,those people. The ones in your phone. I was at lunch earlier today and could not over the fact of all the names in my phone. Life lines as one TV show put it. That is exactly what they are to me, life lines. W Some I call everyday, others time to time, and others very seldom.
Honestly, I get so excited when my phone rings and I know it's someone taking the time to call me.I love it when my phone rings because I am so touched that someone put my name in their phone. I call the people in my phone for many different reasons. I have done it all on these phones, cried and laughed, given and recieved advice, vented and shared joy, made plans and canceld plans, shared my faith and shared my failures, honored God and shouted out at God, and recieved good news and bad. I am sure there are more but you get the picture, yet they all have one thing in common. They have all been put in my phone by God.
So the next time you go to delete someone, think about it first, and the next time you add someone, remember it's God who put them there.

CYBESD

Flee says the word....

2008-03-25T11:49:00.005-04:00

Each Monday night I am privileged to be a part of a group where we discuss men's issues with sexual integrity. One of my pastors declared once that he believe's it is the number one disconnect with men today and I agree with that 100%. Let me break it down into cause and effect:

EFFECT
1. Destroys Marriages and Families
2. Guilt
3. Depression
4. Distances you from God
5. Effects you job
6. Loneliness
7. Shame
8. Distorts Truth
9. Hidden expenditures
10.Generational Curses
11.Confusion
12.Self Esteem
13.Leads to other Addictions
14.Judgement
15.Anger
16.Rage
17.Hopelessness
18.Health Issues
19.Suicidal Thoughts
20.Integrity

CAUSE
It is the sin you desire the most.

Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.

My prayer is that all men break free and live the life of a Valiant Man as Christ has expected of us. The consequences are avoidable.

ACCOUNTABILITY is KEY!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-02-07T13:29:00.000-05:00

Our small group the other night was awesome. As a matter of fact God continues to teach me so much through my friends. Wow! I love it when my brothers love me enough to correct me sometimes delibertly and sometimes without even knowing it.

Example 1
I recently finished my guest past at L.A. Fitness. I really want to do a better job in taking care of myself and each year it's the same old promise and months later it fades away. So I adopted this policy of saying only what I have done about it instead of what I am going to do. So I went to the gym doing the guest past deal for about 2 weeks and when it was time to sign up I refused to in a defiant way to pay the joining fee of $49.00. I did it because I saw on TV (that source of all knowledge) that these types of fees were very negotiable. So, I stood my ground and refused to budge knowing that they would cave before I did. A week passed and then another and still nothing. Well, this past weekend a friend of mine called me out asking me if I had caved along with the disclaimer of if not that joining and doing what I had spoke about was the main goal. It was just a passing comment but stuck with me all the way home that evening. I knew then that there was no way I would cave that my "PRIDE" would not allow for me to do so. POW! Pride...yeah that lets save a few bucks turned quickly into all about me. The holy spirit convicted me big time. Great, I am going to let $49.00 or two nights out eating stop me from accomplishing the big goal of dare I say it...exercise. I am so glad Aaron said that and I now see how God was clearly sending me a message. Have you ever started out with the right intentions only to find yourself like I did?

Example 2
I am in an awesome small group. Each week we meet and encourage each other along with discussing the bible and life in general. Last night I was in a non-focus mode much like I use to be in school. It started in third grade. Up until then I was pretty much an ace student and my conduct grades were right up there as well. We got our report card and Mrs. Hughes dropped a bomb. My conduct grades (yes, we got school work grades and conduct grades) were not good. Circled with a red pin was " does not listen attentively" and "distracts others". My mom was furious at me. I tried to explain that my school grades were still good so why did this matter. She said keeping others from learning just because I would finish early was something that I needed to change or it would stay with me forever. Harsh words to a 8 year old boy. Sadly, she was right. While I am not as bad as I use to be, but then again that's my assesment, I still manage to place myself back in Mrs. Hughes class getting the stare that I had better stop. Well, there are very few people who have the abliity to speak to me without saying a word. My Mom, Dad, Robin, and Mrs. Hughes are among those elite and now a very good friend of mine. I got "that stare" last night. I had not seen it for a long time but it was the stare of correction. Not a word spoken but I knew I had crossed the line. I in fact was disrutping the group. It's great to have a brother who can correct me when needed.

Well, I think I just heard the bell ring, off to lunch.

CYBESD and even if it's a stare or passing comment.

Valiant Man

2008-02-05T12:01:00.000-05:00

Last night a group of men met in a room where at my church we began Valiant Man #4. This is a group that deals with moral and sexual integrity. Not exactly the easiest of subjects for most people and including the church. I truly believe that this is the number one disconnect for men today. The world that we live in not only accepts but promotes many of these temptations as the norm. Movies, Ads, Television, and the internet are just a few key places where these things are readily put on display for all to be tempted on a daily basis.
Last night I was privledged to witness man afte man come through the door to do battle against the enemy. "I have had enough" one man said, while another just sat in tears most of the night knowing that he finally found a place where he can get some help.

Mat 18:20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

His holy spirt filled not just a room last night but the hearts of all. Many men disqualify themselves based on the past or their current situations but the word tells us God will meet us right where were at in life. So, I ask that you join me in prayer as these children (Men) of God discover their wounds and reach out to the one and only man that can save us from ourselves. I would ask that you pray that God send good christian men to walk with them and to help them find their way back to the narrow path. Most of all, that they discover once and for all that God is after ALL of their heart.

Often I am asked who should take the class and the answer is simple. Every man should take the class but some of them need to be there sooner then others.

Monday nights 7pm at Grace Family Church in Tampa. Check out are promo at www.gracefamilychurch.org
Hit the Small Groups tab
Then "mens" on the left
Then Valiant man on the bottom right.

If interested call the church or me at 813-245-0224
Class has started and after Feb 18th it is closed until next time.
Feb 4 to April 21

A final salute from a son

2008-01-29T10:33:00.000-05:00

Love. Simple pure love. While today is a day of farewell I already know without a doubt that your in heaven. So many will at the funeral today bid a fond farewell to a man they call Roland but for me it's goodbye Daddy.
You have over these years since I first came into your life at age 36 been such an inspiration but the thing I learned from you the most is about caring and loving others.
I never felt un-loved growing up. Not once did I ever hear you complain about anything at all. Never once! You taught me good work ethic and to care about others. The biggest lesson was about love. Your love for Mom and her love for you was such an awesome example of getting it right. During the past years in the nursing home so many people would tell me how much you were admired and loved. I am so glad they took great care of you. I remember the day I told you that Mom could no longer do it and that we were taking you to a new home. You did not want to go until I told you it was best for Mom and you pointed toward the car and we went to what would be your new home for the next 5 years.
Just about 2 weeks ago I got a call that you were not feeling well and was not eating. I know that when your ill like in the past you did not eat so I really was not to concerned. I went to see you that sunday and as I often did when mom would not go I called her on the cell phone so she could talk to you or in your case just listen. You handed me the phone back and as I was looking down at the phone I then looked up to see tears in your eyes. I had in all my life only seen you cry one other time. I knew then something was different.
That following Wed I got a chance to tell you in my own way goodbye and get some things off my chest like forgiveness and a final kiss goodbye. Just us in the room as I watched a Dad continue to teach his son about the dignity of death. No machines or tubes or anything just a quiet, painless, and loving goodbye.
You would be so happy to know that I am surrounded by the love of so many. I was doing pretty good emotionaly and tried to be there for mom like I knew you wanted me to be but after everyone had left I stood in the lobby of the funeral home surrounded by the Godly men that was sent to me. The swelling of emotions just took over and I found myself with my head squarely planted in my friends shoulder. It was the most incredible feeling I have ever felt. I know it was God's arms around his little boy telling me that Dad had arrived and I was going to be ok. Then the arms became Derek's the person that God first put in my life. Then I felt as though that one hug turned into another and another like what you would see after a world series win as the team just piles on top of each other. During that brief time I felt so close to God and loved by my so many. I can only imagine how much love your feeling now.

So, Dad I think I got it. Love, care, and share with others. I can NEVER surpass your legacy but only strive to do so and in honoring you Daddy I will spend the rest of my life placing God first, taking care of Mom, and being the son of a man who simply taught me life.
Love you Daddy and will catch up with you later...

Spin the bottle

2008-01-21T09:25:00.000-05:00

Yawn, well here is another monday. I spent much of the weekend thinking of my Dad who is not doing so well in the nursing home. He just turned 86 on January 16th and has lived a pretty good life. I was reflecting on my father and what he has taught me over the years.My father taught me:

Good work habits. He owned his own business and from the time I was in high school never once missed a day of work except for the time he had a hernia.

How important it was to care about others. He was always wanting to help someone in any way he could. My mother use to say that if they had all the money my Dad gave away that we would be rich.

Not to complain. Ok, still learning that one. Appreciate what you have as it is always more then what someone else has in life.

I never once heard him speak about his time in the service, but he did teach me to respect this country and those that served and gave their life for our freedom.

He would tell me that experience always comes before wisdom and not the other way around.

He never judged anyone. Everyone he met liked him. I cannot recall anyone ever saying a bad thing about my father. He is a man who taught me the meaning of dignity. Dad has always put everyone before himself.

Most of all he taught me what it meant to really care about and love someone. My father was not perfect at all but he has spent much of the last half of his life making up for some of his mistakes. He is a man of a few words. My Mom and Dad are great examples of what a marriage is about. Here in the later years it's not about anything materialistic. They just want to be together, period. I wish they could live forever, and in my heart they always will. I sat with them sunday as my Dad slowly reached for my mothers hand. He was to weak to get out of bed and my mom sat there holding his hand for 2 hours. I watched as she said goodbye raising ever so slowly out of her will chair determined to give him a kiss goodbye.

I was a kid in elementry school once and told my mom about some of us playing spin the bottle and you had to kiss the person it pointed at. She in her scolding voice told me that kisses are only for people you love.

Kisses to you both, love David.

..the most excellent way.

2007-12-16T20:39:00.001-05:00

Sunday night. Things at home are kind of quiet. My good friend is with his family in Ohio. I tried shopping some this weekend but just did not feel it. Church was really good this week with the subject being "love". I had gone to the Saturday night service only to find myself going again on Sunday to hear the message one more time.

I sat with two really good friends and watched as a grandson and a grandfather sitting in the row ahead of me next to each other. The grandfather seemed real in tune with the message and so did the grandson. I watched the grandson take the hand of grandpa and they went up to light a candle near the front of the stage as invited to do so by Pastor Q. I am sure they had there reason and it was a delight to see the love they had for each other. I heard them comment on the way back they had lit a candle for each other. I had come to the service to do just that very thing since I had not done it the previous night. I was set, and I knew when the invitation was going to be given I would be ready. My brain was telling me to get up but my heart was not.

Then it happened. Something I must have missed the night before. Pastor Q said not to just come up but only if moved by the holy spirit to do so. I froze in my chair. I so wanted to go. I began to examine my motives and they were not pure.

You, see my friend Sean spoke some truth to me the previous day. I love Sean so much and his friendship is invaluable to me. We had been talking about life and loving again. Something God has been teaching me to do the right way for the last 5 years. I continue to struggle in that I can't seem to shake some of the things that keep me from it. Sean said to me: "it doesn't have to be that way". I cannot get that out of my head.

1Cr 13:5 It is not rude, it is not self‑seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
I need to somehow drop the anger in dealing with love and lose the reords of wrongs or I will continue to hit that brick wall I have formed.

How about you?

What about you?

CYBESD

2007-12-02T07:55:00.000-05:00

The one and only thing (CYBESD) that got me out of deep deep depression a few years ago. So this morning I decided to just take yesterday as an example. So here were my blessings from yesterday:

1. Woke up, roof over my head, something to eat. (Great start)

2. Did the morning exercise gig. (yes I did exercise)

3. Went to an awesome meeting at my church, saw many of my friends.

4. Had an awesome time with the Shedd's. Not to often I hear a ladies opinion. I miss that.

5. Hit the bike trail (Yes, I did exercise) with Will the thrill and Deek. Loved the fellowship.

6. Back home and a quick bite and nap. Read some and off to church.

7. Church..I love my church and those in it.

8. Got a call from my son. Did I mention how much I love him.

9. Watched some of the game..Go Buckeyes...

10. Fellowship on the phone with a brother. I am blessed to have him in my life and finished the evening praying and thanking God for the day.

Trust me I could have doubled that list but I think you get the idea.

Every day we are blessed..it just seems we need to remember that sometimes and more importantly where it comes from.

CYBESD...Count Your Blessings Every Single Day....

Funny how things look now.

2007-11-21T16:32:00.000-05:00

7.5 hours and a few seconds to Thanksgiving. Holiday time is here. Still the toughest time for me each year PD (Post Divorce). I heard some people talking, well to be honest complaining about some things the other day and then I reflected back on previous Thanksgivings for me.

I use to think these things.

How can I satisfy everyone and be in 5 places at once.
Why does my wife stress over having everything perfect.
I hate the fact I have to work the next day while everyone seems to have it off.
Mom's cooking is the best but I have to eat everywhere I go.

The dreaded ads in the paper just baiting the wife to buy and spend for Christmas based on the fact she was getting a bargain.
I hated dealing with people that seemed to only come around once a year.
Trying to explain for the millionth time I hate cobbler.
Listening to old stories of Thanksgivings in the past when I just want to find a couch to sleep and watch football.
Hoping the kids would just entertain themselves.

But now....

I would love to see everyone all together just one more time.

She was just trying to please everyone including me.

How blessed I was and am to have a job these days and then.

Some people have nothing and I was complaining about quantity.

Wished I would have shared in her joy of shopping and planning.

At least I had the "once", some people did not even have that!

Should have got it with ice cream instead.

Now I catch myself just remembering old times and hating football.

Spent more time with my son. POW! Major hint to all Dads.

Happy Thanksgiving to all and take time to enjoy the Holiday.

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS EVERY SINGE DAY. GO BLESS.

2007-11-19T09:51:00.000-05:00

Father's need to be Dad's, Daddy's, and most of all available. I recently was at an event that hosted several young men between age of 15 and 20. Common theme was their father's. I wish some of those absent Dad's could have heard what I heard. Divorce, drugs, alcohol, pornography, selfishness, work, sports, and divorce are just some of the things that separate us from our son's. Yes, I did mention divorce twice only because I think it is the by far the most devastating. When I would hear these young men speak they all wanted Dad's:

Unconditional Love
Acceptance
Time
Hugs
Mentoring
Respect

My friends Jerry and Sean have a man's group that meet with Dad's. What a blessing to see Dad's wanting to become better Dad's. It is never to late to start. If as Dad's we get it right we never have to hear our son's say: "I needed to forgive my Dad". I heard that way to much this past weekend. In some way start being a part of your son's life. I do every day via a phone call and a prayer.

CYBESD...love you Justin.

I like jelly not jam...sorry Dad.

2007-11-14T16:28:00.000-05:00

Sunday afternoon and we had all just pushed back from the dinner table. The hot biscuits were being covered up just waiting until about 8pm when my Dad as he did every Sunday night would utter those all so familiar words: "do we have any peach jam left". Dad loved his evening snack of biscuits and jam. Not jelly but jam. He would make the usual trip to the reclining chair and I would climb up on top of him so I could get my usual allowance. We would kick around some in the chair and when he was ready for me to get down I did so gladly as what was to follow was him saying now let me see what I have here. He would reach deep into his pocket and pull out his lose change as I eagerly awaited with a piggy bank in hand. In the money went, while my sister would only put some of her's in and I would put it all. Why, because Dad said if I saved my money that I could get more later then I could now. I was great at saving money as a kid and even as a teenager believe it or not.

Tonight I have been invited to attend the closing of a group who has met for several weeks learning how to better plan and manage their financial affairs. Ever since I heard about the class I have managed to avoid it at all cost...no pun intended. I will talk to you all day long about personal issues but when it comes to money I clam up tighter then someone trying to explain that soccer is a sport. Ooops.The point being that I really didn't want to go, I don't like to discuss it, I hate facing some of the issues, and I just plain don't want to share anything about it with even my closest friends. So why go, because that is where God wants me to be. I am trusting him big time on this one because if left up to me I would bolt on this one. So with that said off I go to their closing tonight. Keep me in check on this one because I think the next class does not start until next January or February.

CYBE$D

Save me a seat Brian H.

2007-11-12T10:33:00.000-05:00

M-I -S-S-I-O-N Statements. Oh, how I hate them. That is what I told a friend of mine yesterday. I come from a sales background and everyone and I do mean everyone has a mission statement they want to give to their customers. The problem is I have NEVER seen one put into practice, completed, realistic, and most of all truthful. So why in the world would my friend tell me I need to write one. He did because he understands the importance of writing out Mission Statements and Goals. Easy, well no, as a matter of fact he shared how difficult it was for him in the beginning. Upon hearing of his difficulty and my lack of desire of writing them out I was sure there was no way I was going to do that.

Enter the holy spirit. The next thing he did was to hand me a copy of his Mission Statement followed by his Goals. Wow! I barely made it past the first sentence as my heart began to anticipate the rest of what he had written. His mission statement was incredible and spiritually thought out and firmly filtered through his heart. Do you have a Mission Statement? I know I really didn't have one written except for the one in my head that seems to change with the wind. I guess another way to say it is do you have a direction in mind for the rest of your life? My desire is to now write my Mission Statement. I am not sure how long this will take but I intend on doing it soon. While I believe it to be inappropriate to share his mission and his goals here in this forum I will share a passage he selected.

Proverbs 16:9 In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.

Each step for me creates a direction I am headed in on this journey of eternity. I thank my brother for sharing his Mission Statement. Do you have one? I wonder in fact if it is the journey itself that justifies the means.

GBDG

Great respect and thanks....

2007-11-09T11:56:00.000-05:00

Sunday is the 11th month and the 11th day. That morning at 11am is the time when our Veterans will pause and honor all those who are serving or have served in the military. Often times I hear people say they get Veterans Day and Memorial Day confused. Well, let me encourage them to look up the difference. I am asking that everyone who knows a Veteran take a minute and thank them for serving our country. Freedom does come at a price be it time away from the family or the ultimate sacrifice. So, take time and go out and buy a flag and display it with honor this Sunday. Let your kids know that Veterans are the ones who pay that price for our freedom. Call up a Veteran and let them know how much you appreciate them and what they have or are doing.

My Dad is in a Veterans nursing home and each and every person there in some way has served our country. Now as they draw near to the ends of their lives they just want people to remember what they fought for and to perhaps remember them. They honored us every day they served our country it seems to me we can take one day and honor them.

To my son Justin (I love you) in the National Guard and all Veterans I give them great respect and thanks for all they have done or are doing to serve our country.

God Bless them all.

"As iron sharpens iron so one man does another"

2007-10-30T10:33:00.000-04:00

I love it when God takes a vision that we have and takes it to another level as only he can.

Last night we ended the Valiant Man which is a group that deals with issues of moral integrity. These men over the course of the last 12 weeks have come to hear Gods plan on moral integrity.

One of the things that we have tried to do is to bring home the fact that the poor choices you make in dealing with moral integrity not only effects you but so many around you. Consequences....that word that is seldom used. Last night I invited a gentlemen to speak about these issues and how it effected his life. Earlier in the week I heard him speak and talk about his testimony and how he hated pornography and the grip it had on his family and his friends. How it changed his life. So I got with my leaders for the group and mentioned to some of them my idea about this man coming in to speak to the group. We have had a maried couple come in and even an exotic dancer speak to previous groups before. While they seemed more then ok with the idea I could tell it did not really grip them very much. They agreed and the night begin. I spoke to the group and told them thanks for listening to that voice that got them here. Listening to voices was key to this group. Each week they heard the voice from the video explain things in a way they had never heard. Perhaps it was the voice of a group leader, or the voice of someone in their group. I continued to walk towards the door and said: "I think there is another voice you need to hear" and as I said that the gentlemen entered in from the hallway outside and said: "maybe it's my voice you need to hear". You see, what I did not tell the group or leaders was that this gentlemen was only 17 years old. While I cannot share what he said I can tell you that these men were touched. In fact, some lives were changed.

Later in the small groups a man told me with tears in his eye he has never felt God's presence so strong in his life. He continued by saying that he had gotten a lot out the class but still felt he wanted to hang on to some stuff on his computer. Then he explained that when this young men walked in and said he was 17 he knew God was speaking to him through him. What you guys don't know he said is that I have a son who turns 17 this Saturday and his mother and I have been trying to figure out what to get him for his birthday. This young man that spoke tonight gave me that answer. I am going home tonight and getting rid of all my junk ...everything, because what I want to give my son for his birthday is his Dad back.

Deu 13:4
Serve only the LORD your God and fear him alone. Obey his commands, listen to his voice, and cling to him.

Humbled once again.....

2007-10-26T09:59:00.000-04:00

I looked at my watch and it was 5:30pm. Running late again to the group I could not wait to get to last night. A few of us were meeting for the first time to see what it would be like to just talk about life. One of my goals oddly enough was to sit and listen at first. Not lead, not contribute, but just to listen at first. Driving on the way I just could not wait to see what was going to happen because after all nothing was going to keep me from being distracted from what I believed God was going to do tonight. I called everyone I needed to call prior to getting there and spoke with Mom to make sure she was ok and the plan was to arrive and turn off my phone so I would not be interrupted. Upon arriving I took my phones and placed them on top of a TV stand thinking I had turned them off. Ring, ring went my phone. I did not recognize the number. It was my Dad's nursing home. The nurse began to explain how my Dad had fractured two ribs and bruised his lung. Since Dad is 83 I knew it was painful. Mom had been worried all day since they had called her earlier in the day and told her Dad was coughing up blood and that they were going to run test. Now the news had come and it was not so good.

Time Out for David. Now all of a sudden the group that was about to start seemed so far away. My focus now was on my Mom and Dad. How much more time do I have with them I kept thinking. God answered that quickly..the time you have with them is now. Part of me wanted to run to see my Dad but parted me wanted to stay. Later this morning I found out that he had been given some strong pain medicine and was asleep by 8pm. I stayed and but was not 100% focused on the group. I did listen to everyone and it was awesome. Now I kept thining...now all I have is now. Balance was the next thought. I believe that I am in a season of learning about balance. How can I enjoy now to the fullest today, plan for tomorrow, and enjoy my past? What about work and my faith. I seem to want more of one and less of the other. Why does it seem so complicated sometime?

I know what my Mom would say if I called her with the news. Can we go see your Dad she would ask. Whenever I was sick ..it was Mom who always wanted to take care of me. Truth is she always waited for me but when I was sick she would tell me that she wished she could take the pain away and put it on her. I never understood that to tell you the truth but now I do. God took our sins "pain"and placed them on himself. You see not unlike God..Mom loved me first. My friends in that group last night love me despite of my past. So, all I could think about was Love last night on the way home and how cool it is when you get it right and then prior to me writing this I clicked over to Derek's blog. POW!

http://maderighteous.blogspot.com/

Love you all

Saw Dad this morning and he is doing better...thanks for the prayers.

Part Two-Married

2007-10-22T09:04:00.000-04:00

Married June 15th 1983. It seems so long ago. I recall the words so vividly. The preacher a stranger to me said something like this....and I now pronounce you man and wife. I had arrived at the age of 25 a married man. Life was good and I was so happy. Someone did care about me so much they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with me because they had just said those very words. No matter what, I knew who I was going to spend the rest of my life with now. I had visions that much like my mother and father we would be together forever. I am a creature of habit in many ways. I grew up in the same house all of my life. My parents have been married over 50 years and never once did my mother ever think of divorce as an option. I think most sons who adore their mothers want to marry someone like Mom. I know I did and believed I had done just that because for me rejection had always been a deep issue. I was adopted and felt rejected by my biological parents. Later in life I would suffer through many more rejections and not handle them very well. How in the world was I ever going to get through a divorce.

You see a lot of married men I know see me come and go as I please. I get to do what I want to do when I want to do it and for whatever reason I want to do it. No nagging at your house some say. Some even envy the fact I get to watch whatever I want to on TV. Yes, I eat what I want, I go to bed when I want and I even get to take that nap whenever I want. All these things are true and I am quick to point out I even get to do them all alone. Alone, yeah...not so cool sometime. What do I miss:

Noise in the house.
Holidays with family.
How was your day today as I come through the door.
When are you coming home calls.
Being taken care of when I am sick.
Planning for the future.
A ladies view on things.
The smell of dinner on the stove.
A kiss.
The phrase..."let go and..."

I say these things not out of pity for I am so blessed by my friends. God first and my friends fill so many of those voids. The point here is to NEVER take anything for granite and to enjoy life where your at because to be honest that is all you have at that moment.

Single vs Married

2007-10-19T06:14:00.000-04:00

Last night I came home and just sat on the couch. I was kind of tired as a bunch of my friends and I had ventured out to watch the football game. One of my friends Sean said he could not make it because of his kids and having to stay home with them due to the fact his wife was away for the weekend serving the Lord. He said something like this: "It must be nice to just be able to pick up and go do what you want to do". We kid a great deal with each other but for some reason it stuck with me this time.

Single vs Married is something that bothers me sometimes. We have all felt it ...you know that I am married and wish I was single deal and the I am single and wish I was married deal. Having been both it poses a good question. Which is better? Here is where I would try to insert some kind of great wisdom but quite frankly I am stuck here. I miss being married a great deal sometimes and at times I like being single. The big thing about being single is that you have to be careful about getting to selfish. Like Sean said I get to do what I want to do when I want to do it. Pow, does that mean I have not been listening to the needs of others? Can it easily become all about me? Confession number one. I think that has occurred recently and I thank my brother Sean for reminding me of the dangers of being single.

Loneliness and doubt can creep in at a moments notice. Anger at myself and or God usually follows along with pity. We all need to have that someone that tells us everything is going to be ok. I recall sitting on my mother's lap as she would wipe away the tears and tell me it was going to be ok and that she loved me more then anything in the world.

Psa 119:76
Now let your unfailing love comfort me, just as you promised me, your servant.

Psa 94:19
In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul.

Sometimes when I am down the most I vision my Big God wrapping those arms around me and telling me "it's ok, I am here" and then all things become better. My Big God can fill any void we have but we have to tell him about them and perhaps just perhaps climb up on his knee and tell him where it hurts. Then we climb down and go about our day because my "Daddy" made the hurt go away.

Part 2 Tomorrow.

2007-10-18T09:38:00.000-04:00

for all the blessings. CYBESD-Count your blessings every single day. Wow, lately I have lost count but here are just a few in no particular order.

Tres Dias where God's work seems to have instant and life time results.

My parents who continue to teach me about life and how to live it and treat people.

A group of Valiant men who inspires me to keep pure in thought and life.

Alex for for putting in the last stitch this weekend on a wound that is now finally closed.

Bobby M. for reminding me that Pastors are not just Pastors.

Roy Hooker for being Roy Hooker.

Friends who mean more to me then I could ever begin to write here.

My son to whom I love and miss dearly.

Derek who represents to me a bookmark in my life. No matter what page I am on he is always there. I have no idea what my life would look life if God had not put him in it.

Those I have not met yet that God will put in my life.

Reach out to someone you love today. Let someone know you care about them. Don't always wait for the blessing in your life but be the blessing to someone. God is all over us every minute of the day he allows us to draw a breath. Keep moving (in faith) or your a sitting duck for the enemy. Love you all and God Bless......

Happy Birthday, Robin

2007-09-23T08:17:00.000-04:00

All week long I wondered what to do, after all on Friday Sept. 21 it was going to be Robin's birthday. I have always tried to treat birthdays special. I recall as a child how special they were each year, after all it was when I got all the attention. During my 20 year marriage I would always try to do something special for Robin and my son Justin.

Lately I have set some tough but needed boundaries in our relationship. So do I for the first time ignore her birthday or do I acknowledge it in a casual way or do I put on a dog and pony show? I called a friend of mines wife and posed that very question. Do what your heart says she told me. POW! So, in a brilliant move I asked her what she thought I would do. Her reply was that I would "cave in". I took offense to that and now I knew the answer. My plan was now just to ignore it totally. I began to call all my friends to make plans for Friday night and everyone was busy. No problem I thought as I went to lunch on Friday not even calling her that morning to wish her a happy birthday. Not me I kept saying, I am not going to cave in this time. My pride began to grow. I stopped by the Christian Book store in Lakeland as I often do at lunch time. I saw all the greeting cards and ignored them so as not to cave in to getting even a birthday card.

I get in this long line and this elderly lady was checking out when she told the clerk she had forgotten to pick up her sister a birthday card. The lady asked if someone could help her since her eyesight was not the best. Her sister Emma was turning 70 in a few days she told the clerk. I got out of line to help her pick out a card. I read a couple of them to her and she was happy with the one that said how much she was thinking of her on her birthday. Then the God Bomb hit! Do you get your wife a card on her birthday she asked? I had not planned to but now my heart left me with little doubt. I picked one out and we both got back in line. She turned to me and asked me when I was going to give it to her and I told her tonight. I asked her when she was going to give her sister her card and she replied she was just going to take it home with her. Why not just give it to her I said, or does she live far away. Her reply with a soft voice was her sister had died three years ago and they had always celebrated their birthdays together except for the first year after she died. She explained to me she was mad at God and her heart was broken. She said she prayed to God and he mended her heart. I asked her when her next birthday was going to be. She said in a few days. Her and her sister were twins she told me and she missed her very much.

Robin and I later that night had dinner and I presented her with the card. I use to always sign the card:

"I love you, always and forever"

I did again for the first time in 5 years Friday night. Divorce can change and take a lot of things from you but it never took my heart but instead just shattered it into a million pieces. I am slowly giving him all the pieces. My desire has always been to over come my brokenness and become whole again. October should be interesting.

I love you all.

CYBESD-DG

"it's up to me"

2007-09-18T08:13:00.000-04:00

Last night was an awesome night at the Valiant Man. This is a group of men who have the desire to deal with issues of moral integrity. I am so proud of each of these men who have made the choice to take these issues from dark to light. Yesterday a friend of mine wrote in his blog about how Moses literally buried his sin as to hide it from everyone.

Exodus 2:11-12 One day, after Moses had grown up, he went out to where his own people were and watched them at their hard labor. He saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his own people. Glancing this way and that and seeing no one, he killed the Egyptian and hid him in the sand.

Upon reading this I also began to think about, "guilt" which brought me to Psalm 33.

Psalm 33:5 Finally I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide them. I said to myself, "I will confess my rebellion to the Lord". And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.

This Psalm goes on to say that we can be stubborn like a mule. Why only give God one option. These mighty Valiant Men have chosen to follow God and not be drug like a mule. They have uncovered the sins they buried and are now trusting the Lord to provide healing and grace. These men are now learning how to break free of the sins that once kept them shackled from God. Guilt is a powerful thing and can keep us from the joy that the Lord has promised us all.

Psalm 33:6 Therefore, let all the Godly confess their rebellion to you while there is time, that they may not drown in the floodwater's of judgement.

How much longer are we going to hold onto the guilt and sin in our lives. It's up to me to decide. Just don't forget that no decision is a decision and the clock can stop at any time.

GBDG

CYBESD

Yes, I was a Valiant Man last week.

It was time to go

2007-09-16T07:49:00.000-04:00

Last night at Church we heard a great sermon on fear and a series that was incredible. Pastor Q did such a great job. Each week started by the Pastor entering through the door on stage to begin their sermon. However, last night Pastor Q ended the sermon by asking everyone to go through the door and leave their fears behind. He said that if we really wanted to do that and trust God and give him our fears just to enter the door and leave our fears behind. I saw a few get up then a few more and then finally long lines begin to develop as everyone went through the door. It was impressive. I sat and kept watching everyone. Fear is an emotion that can be for some so overwhelming. It for me can be paralyzing. I kept watching as many of my friends went through the door with their wives, girlfriends, and kids. Each one willing to leave those fears behind. All of them accepting the invitation to step up and go through and leave them behind. One of my brothers came up where I was sitting and asked me a question. He nailed it and I did not answer him truthfully because it was me fearing the truth. I looked up a few minutes later and the door closed. Maybe next time. It was time to go.

I love you all,
CYBESD

God's Children

2007-09-14T07:29:00.000-04:00

Back finally. I have missed this crazy blog and am anxious to get back. While in Los Angeles I felt somewhat disconnected from God. Work was work and I missed all my friends so very much. However, I kept asking God what he wanted me to see while gone. The first day seemed so dry in the sense that I could not find that nugget that God wanted me to find. I looked all day for that opening, for that challenge, for that chance to witness and nothing came about. I got on the shuttle bus from the hotel that morning just knowing that God was going to make up for yesterday's missed chances. Again, I felt myself wanting to be in charge. The shuttle took off and I stared out the window and just kept noticing in downtown LA the bums I saw sleeping on the sidewalks curled up next to a door. Yeah, the thought that rushed through was "bum's". I could not get that out of my head all day. Bum's, why was my first thought "bums"?

Webster's definition of Bum:

"a person who avoids work and sponges on others; loafer; idler"

I did not seem to have passion for them for some reason. Part of me as I walked on the sidewalk to the hotel once the shuttle had let us off was wondering why do the police let them stay there. Still my attitude was not of compassion. The next morning we headed to the convention center for the last time. I again stared out the window as the shuttle came to stop at the light. I saw a "bum" curled up at the door but this time it was a woman in rags laying on her side with a child about 8 years old next to her. Tears began to roll down my face. This poor child. Why God allow this child to be here? What in life happened to get them to this door. Why Lord did you allow this to happen? I had slept in a bed the night before and ate a full meal and here in front of me now is this child with such a distant stare on her face.

God spoke to my heart:

1Job 5:1 Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is a child of God. And everyone who loves the Father loves his children, too.

I saw these bum's as I said each day but then I saw the child and wept. I did not see the lady as a child of God. We are all God's children. I knew that in my head but not in my heart that day. Praise be to God for showing me that and reminding me. How many of God's children need to be seen today with compassion and the love they deserve. Everyone is worthy of God's love and should be of mine too. EVERYONE, maybe that's why God allows these things to happen so that us as Christian need to be witnessed to as well. It was in fact these two children of God that witnessed to me. Who do you choose not to love today?

CYBESD

Love you all...and I do mean all of you.

Look closer

2007-09-08T14:11:00.000-04:00

What do you see. Some of you may have seen it before in past while others have never seen this print from Thomas Blackshshear II. When I became a Christian it was one of the first prints I was drawn to in my walk. Just seeing Jesus hold me up reminds me of one dark night not so long ago. It depicts how I felt that night. I had to look again at my life and see I needed God. I wanted him in my darkest moment. Why can't I feel that all the time? I strive for that in my life.

Look closer at the print again. The mallet and the spike in his hands are reminders that each of us is responsible for the death of Jesus Christ on the cross. The contemporary man in the painting is in despair and ready to fall to the ground. His expression is that of pain, disparity, helplessness. He himself is a reflection of a man who is totally dependant of God for his salvation. God himself is present to show his grace and love for us all at all times. The setting the author tells us is that of Mt. Calvary the site of the crucifixion. God's over sized hands depict his strength that we should rely on and not ours. His holiness and divinity is seen in the halo of light that surrounds his head. Jesus holds up the man with his wounded hand near his heart symbolizing Jesus wants to change all hearts by the power of his love. His white robe depicts righteousness of which we all should have. The flowing blood is seen as the washing away of our sins. White lilies show us of his beauty and our adoration of him.

Look closer at your relationship with God, maybe just maybe you will see something you have not seen before.

I love you all,
CYBESD

Today is today not yesterday or tomorrow

2007-09-06T07:54:00.000-04:00

Are you ready for the new day? The truth is I am not sometimes. This past week at the Wildmen we watched the Nooma "Today". POW! It was great and although I had already seen it I had not listened to it very well. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not here yet but do we live in them any way? Note the worked live not plan of visit. I catch myself sometime wishing I was back at another time in my life or dreaming about the what the future holds instead of living for today.

This is not to say that visiting in the past isn't OK or setting "goals" for the future is bad but if we forget today then we flat out miss it. The it being what God had in store for us today. How many of those have I missed in a life time. Each day is a gift from God but do I always open it or accept it. Until I do it just another day that has gone from a tomorrow and is now a yesterday.

I am going to a friends house tonight just to hang out. Today is still here and so am I by the grace of God so today I intend to live it as a "Today" for today truly is all I have.

Love you all,
CYBESD

Divorce simply sucks.....

2007-09-05T06:41:00.000-04:00

I heard a few things yesterday that upset me dealing with the subjects of anger and divorce. They really belong together. Just hearing the word divorce sends me immediately into sorrow. God hates divorce and until I experienced it myself I had no idea what it was how much it can effect yourself and so many people. Like so many I had the uncle that was on his 5th marriage or something like that. I have no idea how he could have understood God's plan for marriage.

It has been almost 5 years since the gavel went down. Some of the wounds have healed and some are as fresh as the day it happened. Holidays not unlike labor day are still tough for me. Holidays conjure up memories of what use to be and how we would truly spend extra family time together. Now I just try to get creative and more then anything avoid being alone. I was doing pretty good but the old enemy just wanted to jump in late Monday afternoon and I was more then happy to let him do so. Depression for me comes so fast sometimes. Pity is one thing I truly hate but leave it up to divorce to bring out all the junk. So, sitting on my couch complete with a barrage of phone calls from my ex-wife I was in that depression spiral I hate but can't seem to stop sometimes on my own.

I wanted to call someone but did not want to hear how much of a great day everyone was having. So, I just asked God for help. The phone rings and it was my friend Sean. How ya doing Dave, he asked. Then with just one answer he knew something was wrong. Just hearing him speak was good enough for me. Not just the awesome advice he gave but the fact that he cared. Once off the phone I was fine. Little beat up emotionally but fine.

A good friend of mine was telling me about someone who had thoughts of divorce. The reason was so sad to me. I just wanted to go and get him and sit him down and explain how much it hurts. Yet people often say "I can't take it anymore in this marriage". I suggest they turn on the stove and place there hand squarely on the burner. It will hurt a great deal but the pain will go away in a few hours.....I wish divorce was that way.

I love you all,
GBDG

The answer is in the mirror.....

2007-09-03T07:25:00.000-04:00

Each time I sit down to write this I pray to God to show me something in the day that is important to him. It seems as every day is a lesson. However, this morning I was struggling. What was that nugget he wanted me to speak about? Well, it came in the form of a haircut. I had my first attempt at cutting my own hair alone yesterday. Derek had been teaching me how and I knew it was time to go solo. So, off I went complete with doubt and lack of confidence. With the mirror in one hand and the cutter buzzing loud I took my first sweep. Pow! I don't have much hair to begin with but after that first swipe I was convinced it was all gone. I did finish and for my first time thought I did OK. Unfortunately, I could not bring myself to squaring off the back so later on Derek did the honors.

Four of my good friends had a chance to meet yesterday at Derek's house. What a blessing that home has become to so many. We were sharing what God means to us and how our lives have been changed so much. What makes God real to you one of the men asked yesterday? Two things immediately came to mind. One is the people and events that God has placed in my life and the other is my past.

Whenever I woke up this morning I had no idea what to write about. I decided to get up and take a look to see how Derek had done with the trim job on the back of my neck. So with a hand mirror in one hand and the big bathroom mirror behind me I took a look. Pow! That was it. I noticed how by looking in the hand mirror I could see what was behind me, but the reflection of the big bathroom mirror also showed me what was ahead. As a christian man I need to know how far I have come and how God has been there all along. My past is an indicator of just that. While some may say you should only look ahead I say that sometimes looking behind us does show us how far we have come and how much God has done in our lives.

Make God real in your life and get to know him more every day.

CYBESD

You can have your cake and eat it too....

2007-09-02T08:02:00.000-04:00

Last night it was awesome being invited to go to a friend of mines house and to celebrate his wife's birthday. However, when it came to the cake my buddy seemed to take hours before he served it up. He did make a great move by placing only 4 candles instead of ...... on the cake.

It was a great evening and I never like to pass up a time when I can be with my friends. While driving home I pondered the old saying "you can't have your cake and eat it too". Sounds pretty worldly to me. One of the things this great walk with Christ has taught me is the opposite of that very saying. We can receive his grace, mercy, and love plus have an eternal life with him. I have to admit and even now I sometimes wait for the shoe to drop. What's the catch to it all I sometimes ask myself but time and time again I am proven wrong. I am involved in a lot of small groups and for those seekers it seems to be and underlying theme that this can't be as simple as it sounds and there must be a catch.

Enter the holy spirit. Often they refer to it as their conscious speaking only to discover later that in fact it was of the Lord. We chase the idea that to good of a thing is bad. Our expectation is to prepare for the worst in so many things instead of looking for the joy that God has placed in our lives. Sure trials and tribulations will come but as the word says even during those times we learn our greatest lessons. Praise God for that for sure.

It was a Valiant day for me and now I am heading off to church. One note for the next birthday party at my friends house. When about 7 ladies are playing a trivia came at a dinning table be prepared to start eating the cake because there is no chance of hearing yourself talk.

CYBESD

Setting Goals and why or why not...

2007-09-01T07:22:00.000-04:00

A very good friend of mine was sharing with me how important it is to write down goals. I kind of laughed it off but as usual this great friend managed once again to plant a seed squarely in my heart. I could not understand why I rarely if ever in my life would do that goal setting thing. Every time including this time I would make some excuse not to and tops of the list would always be my favorite "No Time". I have been praying about it and it is pretty clear to me that I have to in order to have better direction in my life. Sure the winds of change can come in almost any time but like a navigator at sea we still must chart our course. Our heavenly father clearly wants us to set goals.

2Cr 5:9 "So we make it our goal to please him whether we are at home in the body or away from it".
1Cr 9:26
So I run straight to the goal with purpose in every step. I am not like a boxer who misses his punches.
2Cr 10:13
But we will not boast of authority we do not have. Our goal is to stay within the boundaries of God's plan for us, and this plan includes our working there with you.
Job 6:11
But I do not have the strength to endure. I do not have a goal that encourages me to carry on.

I understand there are two kinds of goals, ones you accomplish and ones you don't. Up to now I have only managed to set the goal of not setting goals. A huge error. So at least for now I have managed to get one goal on the books and out of the way which is starting this journal. Thanks oh Lord for using my friend Sean to teach me about goals. Accomplishing goal is important but lessons learned from those you don't obtain can be priceless.

CYBESD

Today a Valiant Man

Here we go again,

2007-08-31T05:38:00.000-04:00

Well, here we go. Ok, I have to admit that God had moved me from journaling for the VM to this forum. I know that I may very well be the only one to read this and that is fine because it is God driven. Yes, I must confess I am not sure why God has me doing this but like with everything he has his reasons.

Last night was awesome. I had dinner with a new friend and we seem to have a lot in common. After all, he is the only person I know who kicks left footed and writes right handed. Wow! He (I need to remind myself to pick and chose when to use a name) is a great reminder of how important it is to make sure we encourage people and not judge anyone. Often times I hear people judge others by starting out saying "I am not trying to judge anyone but...." and then launch into several minutes of judging someone. I too have to be aware of that trap.

Well, tonight is round 3 of Christian Yoga. I will be drinking plenty of water and trying to improve beyond last times outing. Aaron is such a good instructor and I am so proud of him.

Ok, I promise myself not to go to long. I was a Valiant Man today and pray that others currently taking the class have been as well.

John 3:3 "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again"

CYBESD