Heart..just from the heart.

Dear Son,

I love you and miss you so much. Not a day goes by I don't think of you. Oh how I miss you so. You will soon be 21 and I am proud to call you my son. Please don't forget how much I love you.

Dad

Just read the names.

You know who they are. Those people, yeah,those people. The ones in your phone. I was at lunch earlier today and could not over the fact of all the names in my phone. Life lines as one TV show put it. That is exactly what they are to me, life lines. W Some I call everyday, others time to time, and others very seldom.
Honestly, I get so excited when my phone rings and I know it's someone taking the time to call me.I love it when my phone rings because I am so touched that someone put my name in their phone. I call the people in my phone for many different reasons. I have done it all on these phones, cried and laughed, given and recieved advice, vented and shared joy, made plans and canceld plans, shared my faith and shared my failures, honored God and shouted out at God, and recieved good news and bad. I am sure there are more but you get the picture, yet they all have one thing in common. They have all been put in my phone by God.
So the next time you go to delete someone, think about it first, and the next time you add someone, remember it's God who put them there.

CYBESD

Flee says the word....

Each Monday night I am privileged to be a part of a group where we discuss men's issues with sexual integrity. One of my pastors declared once that he believe's it is the number one disconnect with men today and I agree with that 100%. Let me break it down into cause and effect:

EFFECT
1. Destroys Marriages and Families
2. Guilt
3. Depression
4. Distances you from God
5. Effects you job
6. Loneliness
7. Shame
8. Distorts Truth
9. Hidden expenditures
10.Generational Curses
11.Confusion
12.Self Esteem
13.Leads to other Addictions
14.Judgement
15.Anger
16.Rage
17.Hopelessness
18.Health Issues
19.Suicidal Thoughts
20.Integrity


CAUSE
It is the sin you desire the most.

Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.

My prayer is that all men break free and live the life of a Valiant Man as Christ has expected of us. The consequences are avoidable.

ACCOUNTABILITY is KEY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our small group the other night was awesome. As a matter of fact God continues to teach me so much through my friends. Wow! I love it when my brothers love me enough to correct me sometimes delibertly and sometimes without even knowing it.

Example 1
I recently finished my guest past at L.A. Fitness. I really want to do a better job in taking care of myself and each year it's the same old promise and months later it fades away. So I adopted this policy of saying only what I have done about it instead of what I am going to do. So I went to the gym doing the guest past deal for about 2 weeks and when it was time to sign up I refused to in a defiant way to pay the joining fee of $49.00. I did it because I saw on TV (that source of all knowledge) that these types of fees were very negotiable. So, I stood my ground and refused to budge knowing that they would cave before I did. A week passed and then another and still nothing. Well, this past weekend a friend of mine called me out asking me if I had caved along with the disclaimer of if not that joining and doing what I had spoke about was the main goal. It was just a passing comment but stuck with me all the way home that evening. I knew then that there was no way I would cave that my "PRIDE" would not allow for me to do so. POW! Pride...yeah that lets save a few bucks turned quickly into all about me. The holy spirit convicted me big time. Great, I am going to let $49.00 or two nights out eating stop me from accomplishing the big goal of dare I say it...exercise. I am so glad Aaron said that and I now see how God was clearly sending me a message. Have you ever started out with the right intentions only to find yourself like I did?

Example 2
I am in an awesome small group. Each week we meet and encourage each other along with discussing the bible and life in general. Last night I was in a non-focus mode much like I use to be in school. It started in third grade. Up until then I was pretty much an ace student and my conduct grades were right up there as well. We got our report card and Mrs. Hughes dropped a bomb. My conduct grades (yes, we got school work grades and conduct grades) were not good. Circled with a red pin was " does not listen attentively" and "distracts others". My mom was furious at me. I tried to explain that my school grades were still good so why did this matter. She said keeping others from learning just because I would finish early was something that I needed to change or it would stay with me forever. Harsh words to a 8 year old boy. Sadly, she was right. While I am not as bad as I use to be, but then again that's my assesment, I still manage to place myself back in Mrs. Hughes class getting the stare that I had better stop. Well, there are very few people who have the abliity to speak to me without saying a word. My Mom, Dad, Robin, and Mrs. Hughes are among those elite and now a very good friend of mine. I got "that stare" last night. I had not seen it for a long time but it was the stare of correction. Not a word spoken but I knew I had crossed the line. I in fact was disrutping the group. It's great to have a brother who can correct me when needed.

Well, I think I just heard the bell ring, off to lunch.

CYBESD and even if it's a stare or passing comment.

Valiant Man

Last night a group of men met in a room where at my church we began Valiant Man #4. This is a group that deals with moral and sexual integrity. Not exactly the easiest of subjects for most people and including the church. I truly believe that this is the number one disconnect for men today. The world that we live in not only accepts but promotes many of these temptations as the norm. Movies, Ads, Television, and the internet are just a few key places where these things are readily put on display for all to be tempted on a daily basis.
Last night I was privledged to witness man afte man come through the door to do battle against the enemy. "I have had enough" one man said, while another just sat in tears most of the night knowing that he finally found a place where he can get some help.

Mat 18:20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

His holy spirt filled not just a room last night but the hearts of all. Many men disqualify themselves based on the past or their current situations but the word tells us God will meet us right where were at in life. So, I ask that you join me in prayer as these children (Men) of God discover their wounds and reach out to the one and only man that can save us from ourselves. I would ask that you pray that God send good christian men to walk with them and to help them find their way back to the narrow path. Most of all, that they discover once and for all that God is after ALL of their heart.

Often I am asked who should take the class and the answer is simple. Every man should take the class but some of them need to be there sooner then others.

Monday nights 7pm at Grace Family Church in Tampa. Check out are promo at www.gracefamilychurch.org
Hit the Small Groups tab
Then "mens" on the left
Then Valiant man on the bottom right.

If interested call the church or me at 813-245-0224
Class has started and after Feb 18th it is closed until next time.
Feb 4 to April 21

A final salute from a son

Love. Simple pure love. While today is a day of farewell I already know without a doubt that your in heaven. So many will at the funeral today bid a fond farewell to a man they call Roland but for me it's goodbye Daddy.
You have over these years since I first came into your life at age 36 been such an inspiration but the thing I learned from you the most is about caring and loving others.
I never felt un-loved growing up. Not once did I ever hear you complain about anything at all. Never once! You taught me good work ethic and to care about others. The biggest lesson was about love. Your love for Mom and her love for you was such an awesome example of getting it right. During the past years in the nursing home so many people would tell me how much you were admired and loved. I am so glad they took great care of you. I remember the day I told you that Mom could no longer do it and that we were taking you to a new home. You did not want to go until I told you it was best for Mom and you pointed toward the car and we went to what would be your new home for the next 5 years.
Just about 2 weeks ago I got a call that you were not feeling well and was not eating. I know that when your ill like in the past you did not eat so I really was not to concerned. I went to see you that sunday and as I often did when mom would not go I called her on the cell phone so she could talk to you or in your case just listen. You handed me the phone back and as I was looking down at the phone I then looked up to see tears in your eyes. I had in all my life only seen you cry one other time. I knew then something was different.
That following Wed I got a chance to tell you in my own way goodbye and get some things off my chest like forgiveness and a final kiss goodbye. Just us in the room as I watched a Dad continue to teach his son about the dignity of death. No machines or tubes or anything just a quiet, painless, and loving goodbye.
You would be so happy to know that I am surrounded by the love of so many. I was doing pretty good emotionaly and tried to be there for mom like I knew you wanted me to be but after everyone had left I stood in the lobby of the funeral home surrounded by the Godly men that was sent to me. The swelling of emotions just took over and I found myself with my head squarely planted in my friends shoulder. It was the most incredible feeling I have ever felt. I know it was God's arms around his little boy telling me that Dad had arrived and I was going to be ok. Then the arms became Derek's the person that God first put in my life. Then I felt as though that one hug turned into another and another like what you would see after a world series win as the team just piles on top of each other. During that brief time I felt so close to God and loved by my so many. I can only imagine how much love your feeling now.

So, Dad I think I got it. Love, care, and share with others. I can NEVER surpass your legacy but only strive to do so and in honoring you Daddy I will spend the rest of my life placing God first, taking care of Mom, and being the son of a man who simply taught me life.
Love you Daddy and will catch up with you later...

Spin the bottle

Yawn, well here is another monday. I spent much of the weekend thinking of my Dad who is not doing so well in the nursing home. He just turned 86 on January 16th and has lived a pretty good life. I was reflecting on my father and what he has taught me over the years.My father taught me:

Good work habits. He owned his own business and from the time I was in high school never once missed a day of work except for the time he had a hernia.

How important it was to care about others. He was always wanting to help someone in any way he could. My mother use to say that if they had all the money my Dad gave away that we would be rich.

Not to complain. Ok, still learning that one. Appreciate what you have as it is always more then what someone else has in life.

I never once heard him speak about his time in the service, but he did teach me to respect this country and those that served and gave their life for our freedom.

He would tell me that experience always comes before wisdom and not the other way around.

He never judged anyone. Everyone he met liked him. I cannot recall anyone ever saying a bad thing about my father. He is a man who taught me the meaning of dignity. Dad has always put everyone before himself.

Most of all he taught me what it meant to really care about and love someone. My father was not perfect at all but he has spent much of the last half of his life making up for some of his mistakes. He is a man of a few words. My Mom and Dad are great examples of what a marriage is about. Here in the later years it's not about anything materialistic. They just want to be together, period. I wish they could live forever, and in my heart they always will. I sat with them sunday as my Dad slowly reached for my mothers hand. He was to weak to get out of bed and my mom sat there holding his hand for 2 hours. I watched as she said goodbye raising ever so slowly out of her will chair determined to give him a kiss goodbye.

I was a kid in elementry school once and told my mom about some of us playing spin the bottle and you had to kiss the person it pointed at. She in her scolding voice told me that kisses are only for people you love.

Kisses to you both, love David.