Married June 15th 1983. It seems so long ago. I recall the words so vividly. The preacher a stranger to me said something like this....and I now pronounce you man and wife. I had arrived at the age of 25 a married man. Life was good and I was so happy. Someone did care about me so much they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with me because they had just said those very words. No matter what, I knew who I was going to spend the rest of my life with now. I had visions that much like my mother and father we would be together forever. I am a creature of habit in many ways. I grew up in the same house all of my life. My parents have been married over 50 years and never once did my mother ever think of divorce as an option. I think most sons who adore their mothers want to marry someone like Mom. I know I did and believed I had done just that because for me rejection had always been a deep issue. I was adopted and felt rejected by my biological parents. Later in life I would suffer through many more rejections and not handle them very well. How in the world was I ever going to get through a divorce.
You see a lot of married men I know see me come and go as I please. I get to do what I want to do when I want to do it and for whatever reason I want to do it. No nagging at your house some say. Some even envy the fact I get to watch whatever I want to on TV. Yes, I eat what I want, I go to bed when I want and I even get to take that nap whenever I want. All these things are true and I am quick to point out I even get to do them all alone. Alone, yeah...not so cool sometime. What do I miss:
Noise in the house.
Holidays with family.
How was your day today as I come through the door.
When are you coming home calls.
Being taken care of when I am sick.
Planning for the future.
A ladies view on things.
The smell of dinner on the stove.
A kiss.
The phrase..."let go and..."
I say these things not out of pity for I am so blessed by my friends. God first and my friends fill so many of those voids. The point here is to NEVER take anything for granite and to enjoy life where your at because to be honest that is all you have at that moment.
1 comment:
When our focus goes to ourselves is when we start having the thoughts and actions of "I would rather be in your shoes". I struggle with this so much. I think if I was this or that, if I had this or that, then I would be happy and could enjoy life. A lot of "I"s in those statments. We die to selves and live for God, married or single. In my last relationship I really, REALLY, struggled with dying to self. I still do. I always want to do the things I want to do and how I want to do them. What makes me happy or feel good is what I would seek. Who do I live for, me or God? Is God only here to make me happy and comfortable right now?
You want to be single, maybe the enemy is distracting you from your role as a GREAT Father. You want to be married maybe you are being distracted from being the GREAT missionary God has called you to be. The enemy always takes our sights off of God and puts them elsewhere, usually on ourselves. Why don't you eat from this tree? It has the best fruit that will make you happy, fulfilled, all the things you want to be. You aren't happy where you are, don't look at all the other trees you have, don't focus on anything but THIS tree. The next step....you eat.
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